Fat Shaming People

I was out with a friend shopping yesterday in Madoc Ontario.
We went out to find some clothing that will fit me.

Over the last few years I have been unable to control my weight gain and have an extra 80 pounds on my frame.
I always have had to watch what I eat ( I eat healthy) .
I have a terrible time dealing with my poor body image thanks to being teased as a child and teen about my weight.
After being so careful about my weight it was heart breaking to watch the weight gain and being unable to do anything about it.
I have a thyroid disorder that is not yet under control, I have medication adjustments every three months and will until my blood levels are satisfactory to my doctor.

Back to the shopping incident...

I was in a store with my friend and mentioned that my capris were falling down I said I didn't think they were too tight maybe just a bit loose, then a woman I was not even speaking to piped up " Well you need to lose weight and are just not willing to admit it or do anything about it!"
As she pushed by me with a disgusted look on her face.
Not only was I shocked that she said this I was hurt.
I know what I look like and can't stand even looking at myself , I hate getting dressed each day and shopping for clothes both of these things drive me to tears on a good day.
I went out that day due to being upset and needing something that fit and my friend was trying to cheer me up.
Very hard to go from a size 10 to a size 22 (3x) and have everyone judge you when you eat or drink anything or just by walking by them these days.
I never said a word to that woman standing there judging me on my appearance as I know I would have cried (too sensitive? I can't seem to help it, as this was not the first insult of the day I had shot my way.)


I am crying as I am writing this post and didn't sleep all night thinking of how rude she was and mad that I didn't say something back to her  and hating myself even more.
I didn't find anything to fit that would hide my belly so I have to go out again and the prospect of that is making me ill just thinking of it.

How do I learn to harden my heart to all the hateful, hurtful comments I have had directed at me as of late?
Even when my meds level my blood out, I still have the task of losing all of this weight which seems hopeless.

I find I am struggling just to get up each day as I hate to have to find something to wear and try to face the world .
How do I deal with this?
I pray daily for the Lord to heal me and I stick to a strict diet and the doctor tells me I don't eat enough...very hard to want to eat when I know I have to try to fit into my dress tomorrow...again.

I can't even walk video

 What a beautiful video I just had to share with you all today.

I Can't  Even Walk
Posted by Carmen Gainey Hodge on Sunday, July 19, 2015